Acts of Charity

Megan Fox's the next Angelina Jolie???

The great Angelina Jolie (aka Saint Angie) descends from the sky in search of her replacement.










"I require someone who is everything I stand for- beautiful, smart, kind and most importantly- have good taste when it comes to adopting children."








Many have tried, but failed.














Oprah




Too fat.















Jessica Simpson



Too dumb.








Tyra



Too crazy.











Madonna


Almost screwed up her kid adoption.







Having grown restless, she sits at her throne awaiting the next brave soul who seeks to replace her duties as the goddess the media (and children of africa) worships.










"Now who stands before me?"

















"Its me, Angelina. Megan Fox."
















"Im here to audition for the role of this decade's new saint."
















"Very well, Miss Fox."



"Oh btw, call me Highness."


"We aren't that familiar."


















"Let's begin. The first test- do you have tattoos on your body?"











"Yes your highness. I came prepared with eight."













"And one on my crotch has my ex-fiance's name, Brian on it."
















Brian? As in Brian Austin Green? The crap actor from 90210?



You have poor taste in men.


Fortunately so do I.












Brad Pitt: "Should have stuck with Jen".
















"Everyone either wants to be me, or do me."


















"How much of a sex symbol are you?



















"Well, I am FHM's and Maxim's sexiest woman of the year in 2008, runner-up in 2009."









Cheryl Cole: "Im the sexiest bitch alive!"












"haha looks like you lost out to Cheryl Cole this year."












"bitch, please. you weren't even in the top ten."

















"Any recent acts of charity?

You know Im really into the whole humanitarian thing."















Shoots.... does having sex with Brian count?














No one really likes him.













Now that's REAL charity.










"Ok lastly, hows your acting career coming along?"












"Well I did Transformers, and Jennifer's Body."













"Oooo... Jennifer's Body?


Tell me more about it.












"In the film, I play Jennifer, a real popular girl who turned evil and started eating guys. She also stole her best friend's boyfriend. Well in the end, she got stabbed to death by her friend."





















St Angie: "Hmm... in other words Jennifer is a bitch who steals men and ends up dying a horrible death?"















"Well..pretty much, I guess?"














"You pass."

Spare a thought for these Children!

How can we sleep well at night






when we know that somewhere out there,




children are

.
.
.

...exploited...

"Mum I don't want to work in the mines every day!"

"Mum, I don't want to break out into song and dance every few minutes!"




...skinny and hungry...

"I havent eaten for the past 3 days!"

"I haven't eaten since I became famous"




...neglected by their family...

"Papa, I need your love!"

"Lindsay, I need your fame!"

...no adequate clothing

"I hope there is enough clothes to go around"

"is my dress slutty enough?"

...exposed to rampant spread of diseases

"We need safe sex education"

"All stand clear!"

...and dangerous animals roam wild.

"2 Big Elephants!"

"1 Big Elephant!"

SPARE A THOUGHT FOR THESE CHILDREN!






If this message has touched your heart in anyway,






do your part.

"I'm free from poverty!"

Adopt a child today.